Yesterday in my article, How sharing can help solving problems? I had talked about the significance of sharing problems to smoothen their solving process. However, as I understand, under perverted social setups and chronic hardwiring, it is very difficult for men to suddenly start sharing their problems when they or their ancestors haven't done it for centuries. Hence today, I will talk of steps aimed to ease the process of sharing.

1. Defeat yourself: This is the most important step to sharing. As long as men keep thinking that sharing is going to project them as weak, they are actually weakening themselves and this acts as the biggest motivator to their aggressors. They know, the man will not share his problems. And the biggest hurdle to sharing is oneself. The emotional castration that men undergo since the age of 6 creates a story in their minds that sharing is anti-men, weak, demeaning, non-chivalrous and loss of manhood. The day men are able to learn the unlearning of the chronic social hardwiring and are able to rewire themselves to give importance to every small thing that affects them; a lot of their problems will dissipate.
2. Have Zero Expectations: This is the most dangerous thing not to do. When sharing problems, if we have expectations it actually weakens us. One counter argument can be that having no expectations is working without a goal. However, this is a perception and not a reality. There is a thin line between expectations and inclination of interest. The advantage with having an inclination of interest and not having expectations is that when inclination of interest is not respected it is not psychologically taxing enough to weaken us. It is a difficult stand to be taken however, but we need to remember that we have to unlearn what we have learned so far. The society does not encourage men to solve their problems because that way it will then need to take responsibility of its men as well, something it does not want to do. Hence by taking this stand we are actually becoming anti-social from the current social perspective and we might face stiff resistance as well. Had life been so easy, men would have had formed fringe groups like Save Indian Family Foundation.
3. Love thyself: There is again a thin line between self-love and selfishness. When a person is selfish, he/she does not mind hurting/harming another person for one's selfish advantage. However, when you are in self-love, you do not allow others to hurt you, find solace in yourself and are responsible towards your life and do not live a life of denial. Men often live a life of denial wherein they deny the abuse they are undergoing just to avoid sharing it. But in this process they do not realize they do not love themselves and irresponsible towards themselves. The moment they start to love them and start experiencing every small pain, they get better at understanding and sensing pain.

These are some handy tips to learn the art of sharing. It is very easy once practiced.

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Pravin  - Not sharing is one of the biggest enemy/fear of me   |84.12.90.xxx |18-06-2009 05:24:12 Virag, thanks for the bwonderful tips. Reply | Quote 1   0

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