Articles An Article A Day Women don't hear what men don't say
| Women don't hear what men don't say |
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| Written by Virag | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Tuesday, 28 July 2009 19:15 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Warren Farrell has beautifully explained the concept of The Myth called Male Power which had impressed me a lot and also inspired me to write my own version of The Myth called Male Power. He has also written the explosive international bestseller, Women can't hear what Men don't say hitting at the inability of men to express and urging them to open up to their women. Ironically, I disagree with Warren here. In order to clarify my stand I will quote a typical conversation between a husband and a wife. The wife has returned home from work and shares an incident with her husband about how she just missed an accident.
Wife (W): Today I just missed an accident.
Husband (H): How come?
W: I was riding my scooty when the bike rider just in front of me skids badly. Had it not been for my quick reflexes I would have tumbled over him and God knows how many bones would have broken.
H: Oh
W: Just saved by a second.
H: Good.
W: What good? You mean to say its good I was just about to die? I know you are sad that the accident didn't happen.......blah blah.
H: But I didn't mean that.
W: I exactly know what you meant; I can clearly see the frustration on your face. All you men are sick bastards.
Conversation ends with the man wondering where he went wrong in the entire conversation. This is not an isolated incident. It often happens in a domestic relationship and I can tell this assertively from the cases of men abused in marriages who come to me for counseling. As a men's rights activist, I can exactly empathize with the victims and connect with their abuse. And more importantly it has got nothing to do with the ability/inability of men to express themselves. For, if everything they say is going to be taken in a negative sense than it is expected that after a while the man will stop communicating - which probably prompted Warren to say that "Women can't hear what men don't say". While I am not invalidating what Warren has said, as it is very true, however, the truth is only illustrative and not exhaustive of the fact that men face severe unreported, unaddressed and unprotected domestic violence from their wives. As we saw in the conversation above, the husband was happy that his wife was safe, but the wife could not digest this and diverted the flavor of the conversation quintessentially which boils down to a fact that "Women don't hear what men say" and this behavioral pattern acts as the biggest deterrent to men opening up and then ultimately leads the society to believe that men are unable to express - they need to learn to express themselves and Warren would stand testified and justified in saying "Women can't hear what men don't say". But it is also important to realize as to why men don't say. They don't say because Women don't hear what men say and men know this. Moreover, when any person is in a disturbed and abused state of mind, the foremost need of the person is seldom a solution to his problems, all he needs is a proper and effective communication channel - one which does not invalidate his problems nor justifies his abuse. Till then, MEN WON"T SAY.  To create link towards this article on your website, copy and paste the text below in your page. Preview : Powered by QuoteThis © 2008
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