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Women are often mistreated in Muslim countries but it seems that the "woman as victim" framework is misapplied in this story about Indian Muslim businesswoman Munira Katabji. She first married when she was young but was soon a widow and was apparently ejected from her late husband's family because she didn't or couldn't bear children. To her credit, she then became a businesswoman, operating a successful wedding planning business.
The came her second marriage. From Wedding diaries (www.mid-day.com, 9/21/09):
Sitting in her rented apartment at Fatema Nagar in Pune amid wedding trousseau, the entrepreneur recounts her traumatic days. "Life had given me a second chance two years ago, when I was offered to get married again to a Quwait-based businessman. My relatives, parents and former in-laws convinced me to settle down again. Little did I realise what was in store for me." Soon after, hell descended. Her second husband was already married with two children, and did not have a stable job. "My nightmare had just begun. My husband insisted that we visit the US where his ex-wife and kids stayed. I was on a three-month visa, and to my horror, I had to stay on illegally for seven months."
Munira fought untiringly. After returning to India, she sought help from close friends within the community in Pune, and started studying again. She pursued a course in event. By then, she had also landed a job at a call centre. "My job was not approved by the seniors in my community, but I needed the money and there was no one who was ready to help me." Even though she was constantly harassed by her in-laws, she refused to sign for divorce without alimony. "It was shocking when they told me that by Islamic law, since we were living separately, our marriage was considered over. I sought help from a lawyer, and since I had my marriage registered at a court, I could fight for alimony," she remembers.
After a long and tedious battle, Munira is now happy with a settlement of Rs 5 lakh and says this is a rebirth of sorts. Her company is called Hutaib Creations. "Hutaib is the name of a mountain in Yemen. I have finally conquered the peak. In our community, it is important for a woman to be self-dependent," she sings off, with a triumphant smile.
A few thoughts:
1) She speaks of her extended visit to the US as a "horror." What probably happened was that her then-husband, to his credit, wanted to be in the US so he could see his kids--a circumstance I doubt Ms. Katabji was unaware of. He probably thought of it as an extended vacation for both of them. She could have left at any time--are we supposed to believe that the US wouldn't have permitted her to return to India? There may well be more to it than what's in the article, but from what we know, her reaction seems rather extreme.
2) Of her second divorce, "she refused to sign for divorce without alimony." Alimony is appropriate under certain circumstances but here the marriage was short and they had no kids--why would she get alimony? Perhaps her business was disrupted by her extended stay in the US, but that was at least partially voluntary.
3) In the end she gets her alimony at an amount she's "happy with," says "it is important for a woman to be self-dependent," and gives a "triumphant smile." How does getting apparently unmerited alimony make her a self-reliant woman?
Women in Muslim countries (or Muslim regions of non-Muslim countries) generally have my sympathy but I'm not sure that Ms. Katabjiis is one of those who merits it.
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